The answer is alot. Day by day not much changes, But when you look at the bigger picture it's almost like it couldn't of changed more. It's hard to think that just a little over a year ago one of the most important people in your life, the biggest influence, the biggest inspiration was still alive and breathing. Time flies, Days go on and sometimes they don't even cross you mind.. Because It feels like they were just here yesterday, like you just spoke with them.. Then that year comes around and you realize how fast 365 days went by. You realize it's been a year since you've seen there face, since you've seen them smile at you, Since you've hugged them...You can't remember what their voice or laugh is like anymore.. Then you finally grasp how much can change in a year.
A year and two weeks ago, I lost the most amazing man I'll ever have the privilege of meeting. A man who was an example in every aspect of the word. He was an example as a husband, as a father, as a hard working man, and as a brother in the faith. He had every quality that every woman should look for in a man. He talked about my grandmother like she put the stars in the sky. They had such an unconditional love for one other that even then I'm sure was hard to come by. Anyone that knew my grandpa knew exactly how beautiful and good hearted he thought that his woman was. Him and my grandma went through more in their life then most people will ever have to experience, and he still had more faith than anyone I've ever known. He worked everyday of his life until the last few months, and enjoyed every minute of being a farmer. Not once was he ever lazy. Never did he miss a softball or a basketball game of mine, it could be freezing and raining and he would be there cheering me on. He was my biggest fan and supporter. Ever since I was a baby I've been grandpa's little girl.. I was closer to him then my own father. A year and two weeks ago, around 4:30 in the afternoon, I stood at the foot of his bed as I lost one of the most important people in the world to me. A year and two weeks ago I was one of the most discouraged and depressed people you would've known. But, along with the bad changes have come some of the best.
When I say discouraged and depressed I mean that as literal as you can imagine. I wasn't the same person. But even when your in your lowest state of mind and not seeking God like you should.. He's there and he knows exactly what you need and when you need it. A couple months after my grandpa passed away I started talking to a guy that was a complete stranger. He took my mind off things and he made me happy.. I stayed up late just to talk to him and woke up ready to talk some more. I couldn't get enough of him! But most importantly, he made me happy when no one else could. God gave me someone when I needed someone even though I didn't ask. The ironic part about it is, he needed me too. His mother passed away exactly two weeks after my grandpa did, which is a year ago today. We both experienced a huge loss around the same time, so from the beginning we already had something in common. As time went on, realizing we had pretty much anything and everything you can imagine in common, and realizing how perfect he was, I fell in love with him. When I said my grandpa had every quality a woman should look for in a man, Those are the things I personally have always wanted and looked for in someone, even before he passed.. and I've found someone with those exact qualities. God could not have blessed me more when he gave me Levi, and I'm confident in that. I have never exactly been what you'd call a people person, nor will I ever be, So finding someone I could just tolerate was a hard enough task for me. I now have someone that I cannot get enough of. Day by day my love for him only grows stronger, he's made me happier than I've ever been and been my absolute best friend for almost a year now. He's helped me step out of my shell, and speak my opinions and be more bold. He's been the reason for every smile that comes across my face and for my happiness everyday. He's what gets me up in the morning, and what gets me through even the worst and toughest of days. And most importantly he's shown me what real love is, when I thought that that was something I'd never be able to have. I could not be more thankful for him, and for what our future holds together.
So yes, a lot changes in just a year, both good and bad. Things have changed far more then I would've ever imagined on this day a year ago. I have alot to be thankful for and am reminded of that every time I think of my Grandpa. I just know he'd love Levi and be thankful for me finding such an amazing guy that makes me happy like he does. One day ill get to introduce the two most amazing men in my life when we meet again in Heaven. :)
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